Some alphabet soup: GSN and NFP

Wednesday: 7:45 PM. Time for GSN, or "Gender Separation Night" Once a month, we gals buddy up with Mary Frances, while the menfolk join Bill and Tom and we each talk about issues particularly pertaining to our gender. Tonight we're deep into a discussion about contraception, led by Maura, a former volunteer and mother of six-month-old H'nora.

We talk a lot about the benefits of NFP (Natural Family Planning), and Maura adds thoughtful insights from her training as a nurse and her current vocation as a wife and mother. For those of you unfamiliar with NFP, it is, narrowly speaking, a method of recognizing the woman's fertility at various parts of her menstrual cycle, based on body temperature and cervical mucus. It is known secularly as 'fertility awareness' and when practiced faithfully, is highly effective in both avoiding and acheiving pregnancy, depending on the couples' aim.

Speaking more broadly, and from a theological perspective, NFP is a way for a couple to approach their sexual relationship that is in harmony with the Christian vision of marriage and sexuality. Marriage as a sacrament is meant to embody the relationship of Christ with his Church, a relationship that is total, faithful, free, and fruitful. In not artificially curtailing the potential of their fertility, couples are able to freely give themselves to each other, not just emotionally but physically as well.

I confess that I'm a pretty big fan of NFP =) (Look at Couple to Couple League for more info) From what I know about it and from what I've heard from those who practice it, I find it appealing and beautiful, and such an amazing antidote to our fallen tendency to split body and spirit, or to objectify one another. One fascinating aspect that came up in our GSN discussion, unsurprisingly for CVV, was that of the social ethics of contraception, and ways they tend to foster disharmony between the genders. I offer 3 examples:

1. When scientists were developing the Pill in England in the 1950s, they pioneered a form of hormonal contraception for men and for women. One man from the study group suffered an abnormality in a testicle; one woman from the study group died. Hence, the male form of hormonal contraception was definitely stopped, while the woman's dose was merely lowered.

2. In arenas where the Pill is promoted as the most effective and practical form of contraception, the burden of preventing pregnancy falls squarely on the woman's shoulders. Not only does she ingest powerful hormones, it could be argued that if it is the woman's responsibility not to conceive, then it is also her culpability if she does. Can men, who hear constantly that women's bodies are their own to control, be blamed if they don't stick around to provide for that woman's body's mistake?

3. Hormonal contraceptives are powerful stuff. According to an article in the National Catholic Register, the Pill is a known carcinogenic, i.e. it can cause cancer and has been shown to elevate chances of breast cancer in women. Less fatally but as significant, hormones can alter your personality, your appetite, and even your libido. How ironic that a pill to let you have 'safe sex' can lower the woman's desire for any sex! What cost do women take on their own bodies by using hormonal contraception? Steriods for men, especially young men, are soundly derided. Why is the same treatment not given to contraceptives for women, especially young women?

Enough soap-boxing =) The last thing I want to say is that I am so grateful for the 7 women that I live with. We undoubtably have our disagreements, but as the eight of us girls talked about our questions, confusions, and opinions regarding such a potentially important topic as contraception, I was struck by both our candor and our vigor, a fresh honesty grounded in affection for one another that has been steeping over these past few months. It seems that to live in a harmony that is truthful, I have to be able to disagree with someone, yet next morning get up, talk about the shopping list, and eat breakfast together without our disagreement bubbling up as snappiness or any type of ill-will. In other words, community life denies me the luxury of speaking your mind to someone whom you'll never see again. Instead, it challenges me to speak the truth in love, and gives me plenty of practice for both.